As they have most everywhere else, the times they are a changing.
Daylight savings time has recently claimed the crown over all other things that drive me mad. I really don't remember it ever having an effect on me like it has this year. When it's dark by 5 pm, I'm ready for bed by 6. This is not conducive to any type of productivity past sundown, and it's left me feeling uninspired, incompetent, and ready for a change.
With these things in mind, I sought out some motivation via the internet (because I am a millennial, and we just sit around and google stuff all day right?). I found a Ted Talk which was right up my alley: "The Psychology of Self-Motivation" by Scott Gellar. He leads off his talk with informing the audience that each and every action we've taken since birth is because we want something for doing it. One aim or another drives everything we do. If the end result is worth something to us, and we feel competent at completing the task, we're more likely to be self-motivated. Self autonomy is another factor, as we are driven by our own choices rather than being forced or required to do anything.
He then poses a question to do with mindfulness,
"Are you seeking success or avoiding failure?"
Gellar explains it's all in how you look at it. This resonated immediately in my soul, as I think I've lost clarity as time has passed, and it's effected me negatively in multiple aspects of my life.
In my attempts to avoid failing as a blogger, I've done just that. I don't have the time or resources my favorite bloggers do to create beautiful, opulent, jaw dropping posts so I take myself out of the game and rarely post at all. In hopes to avoid failure, I've effectively sought it out.
He then turns the topic to community and its importance in all aspects of our lives. I am a notorious introvert who craves alone time more than even coffee or pasta, and isolation is utterly integral to my functioning in life.
However, I'd be nowhere without the formidable community of exceptional humans I adore.
Through my position at Dottie I've had the opportunity to meet and love some pretty amazing and inspiring girl bosses in an array of equally important regards. I have been so fortunate to thrive in an estrogen-only workplace rather than fear the nightmare it could be. I have an entire community of strong, incredible women who are there for me in ways I never expected, and who I know are there no matter what I may need.
My family dynamic has changed quite a lot in the span of a year (imagine what it's done in 24), but believe me when I say no one is so blessed as I by those who share my genes and last name.
I never expected to be so in love with my mother in law it sometimes concerns my husband. When I say mom, I mean her. She has supported me in ways I didn't realize were needed, and enriched my life beyond words. She is usually the kind soul behind my camera, and never complains about it. EVER. Have you ever been asked repeatedly to capture a photo? Me either, but I hear it can get pretty annoying. In her unending grace, she even offers half the time. I defer to her when I am at a loss, and am never turned away or left with questions unanswered. The heart of this woman won't be matched in this lifetime or the next, she is pure gold.
The solace and home I've found in the hearts of the twin pillars I call dad and brother will never be replaced. Despite putting up with me for the entirety of my life, these men exude nothing but generosity and patience toward me in a world so often unforgiving,
Hopelessly, completely lost? Eric can get me home.
Tires low again? Dad brings his air compressor to work so I don't have to leave.
I can give (literally) countless examples just like these, but it's easier to condense it with this: my father and brother help Atlas and I both in carrying the weight of the world.
With an abundance of exceptional people around me, I need to give in to interdependence rather than independence. We can learn so much from others, and it makes our existence a far less lonely one.
Gellar brings the talk to a close by reminding us to break problems/tasks/life down into the bare bones rather than trying to tackle the entire thing at once. Again this speaks right to me, as sometimes the whole picture overwhelms me to the extent that I forget I already know how to do each part and only need to string them together.
I wanted to bring this to any reader who may also have needed to hear this, and remind you all that I am happy to be part of your community in the way that you are part of mine! I am so grateful for each and every one of you, and want to generate more content that hits home, hopefully for all.
Behind the dainty days is a whole lot of planning. And coffee.