Nora McInerney was the first person I'd ever heard speak on the idea of performing pregnancy.
What did that mean exactly? Why wasn't she interested in this performance?
Sure, she was months into a pregnancy a very short time after her husband passed away, but wasn't she the gushing, excited, beyond happy momma to be?
And that is okay! It is also okay if your situation is very much different than hers and you're still not interested in putting on a show for the world, which is something I could never have understood without going through this process myself. It is also okay if you ARE the glowing, gushing, over the top excited momma to be.
As you may have figured out, I fall in the former category. I do not enjoy the barrage of questions from complete strangers regarding a process that is painful and hard and sad while also being beautiful and miraculous and wonderful. HOWEVER, I need to stretch myself to understand that the questioners are simply trying to connect with me. And yes, it is sometimes in a way that may personally grind my gears, but ultimately I know this is not their aim.
Full disclosure here, I’d typed out a bit of a rant post regarding how pregnant women (or at least me, as I am no spokeswoman) are peppered with inane personal questions. I never posted because it didn’t feel right (also, raging hormones), and I’m glad I didn’t. A coworker who I don’t work closely with was asking questions about my pregnancy while we washed our hands after a simultaneous bathroom break and then shared with me her own struggle with infertility, a ticking biological clock, and a deep longing to be undertaking the experience I am now.
As easily as she shared all that with me, something clicked. What the majority of us seem to want is to be acknowledged, seen, and heard by another member of the human race. I think this may be why pregnant women are often a magnet for others of both genders—they have an automatic in to speak to you. It is not about me or the baby growing inside me at all, but rather a way to connect with another person on the most basic human level. Like my brother said, “Everyone loves a pregnant broad”.
To put it simply, the point is grace.
I need to be better about remembering that these interactions with others are coming from a pure place, or at the very least a place that has absolutely nothing to do with me. But I need to do that always, not just when the questions are in a higher quantity because I am pregnant. As an introvert, it always sends me mentally running for the hills when I can tell a stranger is going to talk to me.
But how am I going to spread God’s love when I make every interaction about me?
I can’t! Treating others kindly and in a way indicative of my faith is so much more important to me than answering the same questions over and over again is annoying to me. I shouldn’t need to utter a single word regarding my faith but it should be apparent in the way I behave toward others.
Pregnancy is hard and painful and full of curveballs but then so is life. Removing myself from the center of each and every interaction is important now as well as every other day I get to breathe and interact and be a human. I’m thankful for an incredibly easy pregnancy as well as for the experience to have opened my eyes to others in such a powerful way.
We never really have a clue what another person is actually going through, so grace upon grace is how I aim to treat others. It sure is how I prefer to be treated.
Performing pregnancy is not the point any more than performing humanity is. And if you want to break it down (or have a breakdown) to a person who knows exactly how human you feel, by all means ask me something personal regarding growing another human inside me.
I’ve got you.
I recently took advantage of my pup's neuter appointment as a good reason to use up some of my workplace's generous vacation policy, but quickly realized I'd have a lot of downtime on my hands. You'd think they went to the vet for a spa day for all the inconvenience and pain it seemed to cause them! When it became clear they would not need me to cuddle them for five days straight as I'd figured (and hoped) they would, I decided my staycation would be better spent getting the house in order.
We've been in our home almost 3 years now, and stuff just accumulates so dang fast. It was time to declutter. Thus, Home Improvement Week was born! Luckily I happen to have the most amazing interior designer/declutter expert/most patient friend alive all in one neat package I call my mother in law (or Momma). We went room by room doing a mixture of decluttering, deep cleaning, and reorganizing. Our good friend Tom (who is more family than friend really) helped us build out my dream closet toward the end of the week too! It was a week of crazy hard work (returning to work will be a nice break from the manual labor, frankly) but so much fun and such a weight off my mind. As Spring cleaning time is technically nearing, I wanted to share in case you were in need of a clear out but needed some inspo!!
Here are some tips:
Are you a Spring cleaner? Or one of those magical unicorns who is already super organized? If so I'd love to hear your tips and tricks. Let me know if this was helpful or made you giggle in any way, shape, or form.
All my love,
This post is radically overdue.
To be fair, I was overdue for a break...fair is fair right?
This past summer was a game changer for me. I won't get to the nitty gritty now (probably ever) but the point is that I was rocked. All the way to my core where I hadn't truly checked in in years. And I learned and grew and came out stronger just like they always say you do...so if you're in the middle please have hope. And also please understand that between our first and last breath, we're all in the middle. And it SUCKS...for ALL OF US! Not a one of us gets out of this alive, after all. But it's also a gift. We really do grow through what we go through and I can honestly view my summer from a point of gratitude rather than resentment or anger or frustration. Not because it was easy, but because I'm a better me now.
I know we all process so very differently, but I turned to my first love: literature. Here are some of the books that got me through some SHITTTT...and can do so for you so write them down:
-A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
-The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
-Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucado
-Loving What Is by Byron Katie
-You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero
I spent a lot of time reading and crying to my friends and breathing through the hurt. Because of hitting such a low, ugly spot, I wasn't exactly drawn to posting a highlight reel. We may crave genuine connection when we reach out to our phones, but I sought it in God and my loved ones instead. And then I kept seeking them...and it felt so much better than Instagram.
My Instagram started as a way to promote the hair business I was working on. With absolutely zero intention, it turned into one more platform hawking stuff that you don't need. That I didn't need. I am a girl of Goodwill and DIY! Oh and by the way, I really wasn't very good at it. Others do it far better. Some even do it with a stitch of integrity.
As great as my disdain for disclaimers is, here goes:
I do not judge anyone for what they do or how they do it or anything at all ever. I am a sinner, you are a sinner, we are all the same. So to the bloggers I know and follow and love and admire: YOU DO YOU GIRLFRIEND! I love watching you grow and rooting you on and will never stop. I am so thankful for every opportunity and company I've gotten to work with! I have made such sweet friends and connections through it all, and I can't thank them enough!! I am just no longer using this platform in that way. Because of that, starting my new job, and trying to live the truth I spent so long digging out of me, I haven't spent much time on the gram. I miss my community of hair lovers and I hope to return to posting hair pics very soon! But I learned to place that last on my list of importance.
If everything is a priority, nothing is.
I used to get anxiety at 8:30 pm daily if I didn't have something I felt worth posting. WHAT A WORTHLESS WAY TO SPEND A MOMENT. I'm not interested in ever feeling that again. I want to pour into my people, the ones in my every day, the gifts straight from God who make my world go round. Instagram has to come last, because it doesn't matter and isn't real. The people though, in life and online, are real and every single person matters.
All that to say, I have spent so much time and effort and had a lot of fun building this blog and my Instagram, and I'm not ready to let these babies go. I have a love for hair (and helping other people love THEIR hair) that has been inside me before I ever had an audience. So if you're still here, I'm very glad to have you. I hope that I can bring something to your life other than a want for something you don't have.
You are already equipped with all you'll ever truly need.
As you probably (most definitely) have seen on Instagram by now, Shoes of Prey have taken custom footwear to a whole new level. I was so excited to work with them to design these beauts! Between undergoing three foot surgeries and having been blessed with my dad's "caveman feet" as we so lovingly refer to them, shoe shopping can be a bit of a bear.
I am typically a size 5, but heels can be difficult because I've got a surgery bump on my right foot, and my right foot is also smaller than my left! I loved the Lodi silhouette because the slingback is adjustable and I chose the 2.8 in height so that it was comfortable but still stylish.
Shoes of Prey offers extending sizing (2-15) in narrow, standard, wide, and extra wide for most styles. They have so many color and style options that they can range from classic and neutral (which is obviously the route I took) to completely eclectic and unique.
You can even pick a custom inscription to put on the lining of your design...I went with the name of my brainchild and passion project of course!
These already quickly made their way into my regular rotation of kicks, but the custom inscription makes them something I'll keep forever! If you decide to design your own pair, you can use code FORTHEDAINTYDAYS
to put a special word or phrase into your design free of charge!
Have you guys checked Shoes of Prey out yet? I had a blast designing these babes and I'm sure you would too...such a fun gift idea as well for the Carrie Bradshaw in your life.
Thank you for reading!
Hey pals, I hope you're doing well.
I wanted to share a quick post on my latest Goodwill DIY--I've yet to find denim like these so I decided to make my own! Luckily I found the perfect pair of Levi's at Goodwill to use for this particular project, but any pair of true denim will do. "Jegging" material will have a very different end result, so for this DIY I'd stick to normal denim material.
Put the pants on and make a slight cut where you think the top of the cuts should be. I always begin the cuts an inch or two above my knee caps but personal preference comes into play here! I purposely made these slightly asymmetrical so you might notice the right leg cut is higher than the left. Take off your britches and finish cutting. For the right leg I made one horizontal cut and then one vertical cut on the outer seam to make the flap effect happen, and the left leg I just cut two horizontal parallel (ish) lines for a smaller slit effect.
For the smaller slit, pull the threads out with tweezers. It can be tricky to get this started, but easy to finish up once you do!
This is with all the threads pulled and pre-wash.
Post wash! The dryer really get it to fray so I usually skip the emery board step that a lot of slit skinny DIYs suggest.
And that's it! My favorite part about making your own knee slit skinnies is that you can cut them to fit your bod! A lot of the skinnies I can find in stores have the holes placed in spots meant for taller gals. They only get more distressed with each wash and wear, so the holes will change over time but I only love them more as they do!
If you try this out I'd love to see your recreations :)
Hope this was helpful! If there's any other DIYs you'd like to see, just let me know.
Behind the dainty days is a whole lot of planning. And coffee.