Sometimes life has this magnificent way of crapping all over everything.
I'm not going to pretend I'm a happy-go-lucky optimist by any stretch of the imagination, but I usually am able to put on my big girl pants and deal with whatever doesn't go my way. Lately I've had a harder time of it, and to be honest I'm not sure why. Every single one of my "problems" are of the first-world variety, so believe me I am in no way looking for pity here, I just happen to have a blog and some time to type so here I sit and here I talk.
Some days (weeks, months, etc.) I feel like deleting all of my social outlets and becoming a recluse but something keeps me here, doing what I love. It bothers me when people say "If you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life" because that is absolute bullshit. I spend almost every single day doing some facet of what I love, and I can assure you that each of these days is exhausting because they are WORK. Being passionate about it just makes me work harder, further exhausting me and continuing this cycle. I think we should realize that doing what we love doesn't excuse us from working, but instead demands it.
Lucky for me, the support system with which I am blessed is vast and encompasses all of my bizarre needs (feeding me, encouraging me, assisting in content production, helping me pick out outfits for countless hours). Because of them I am able to function on a somewhat normal level, and I couldn't be more thankful!
I never dreamed that my pursuance of these passions would bring me closer to my only (and highly revered) sibling, but lo and behold it has. I sought nothing more than his approval while we were growing up, and it's somehow even more vital to me now. So even on the days when I can't seem to get anything right, I will stop pursuing perfection and instead seek refuge in the grind. There is something so magnificent about finding what you love and letting it kill you, and thanks to the encouragement from my first and favorite hero, that is exactly what I plan to do.
Thanks for sticking around, friends.
Behind the dainty days is a whole lot of planning. And coffee.